Through middle school, high school, bad dates, and an ill-advised punk phase, Tasha has always been able to count on Jason. Since the day he moved in next door, he’s gone from the weird kid in a wheelchair to Tasha’s most trusted friend. But lives change and the friends are going in different directions. When Jason and Tasha rekindle their friendship, sparks fly. After years of being a wild soul, now the ex-lead of a band turned music teacher is just looking for a relationship to last.
When none other than Jason introduces her to a man who can give her what she wants, Tasha is on the verge of throwing passion and love away just so she can forget her troubled past and settle down. But Jason isn’t ready to give her up just yet.
I wasn’t too happy when my parents told me that I had to try to make friends with the crippled kid who just moved in next door.
I was eight years old. For my entire life thus far, living in a suburb of Pittsburgh, our next-door neighbor was an ornery old woman named Agnes. Why are all old people named Agnes, for some reason? Not that I’m prejudiced against old people or anything. My grandmother, Nana, lived with us and was never an ornery old woman, and probably still the best cook I’ve ever known. Anyway, Agnes failed to wake up one morning, and the house got sold off to a young family with two kids.
I was initially really psyched to find out that the family had two kids, one of whom was allegedly my age. I pictured a girl with blond pigtails who would be my best friend, and we’d make each other friendship bracelets, have sleepovers, and all that fun stuff.
But then my fantasy was crushed when I found out that my new eight-year-old neighbor was a boy. And not just a boy. A boy in a wheelchair.
His name was Jason and I saw him a few times from afar. He went to a different school than I did, and there was a special school bus that picked him up. I saw him waiting with his parents at the curb for the special bus, which was about half the length of the bus that picked me up. My parents told me it was a bus for disabled kids. When it arrived, a ramp would be lowered mechanically and Jason would wheel into it, and the driver would help him get arranged in the bus. My mother yelled at me not to stare, but how could I not stare?
When the Foxes had been living next door for a few weeks, we came over for a visit and to bring them a welcome basket.
My little sister Lydia and I were dressed up in uncomfortable pink clothes, and I was firmly instructed to play with Jason. Lydia, who was only four, was totally off the hook since the older Fox child was a 13-year-old boy.
“I don’t want to play with Jason,” I whined, as my mother did up the buttons on my dress. “He’s weird.”
“Oh, stop it,” my mother said. “He’s not weird.”
“He’s in a wheelchair,” I pointed out.
“Don’t you dare mention that,” my mother snapped.
“Why not?” spoke up my Nana, who was listening in. “I’m sure the boy knows he’s in a wheelchair. It’s not a secret, is it?”
Despite everything, I giggled. I wished my mother would let Nana come along, but they were too worried about her making a comment like that. Apparently, she lost her self-censor somewhat as she got older, although Daddy said she’d always kind of been like that.
Fifteen minutes later, my mother was shoving Lydia and me in the direction of the house next door. We rang the bell and Mrs. Fox answered, greeting us warmly. “Jill!” she cried. “I’m so glad you could make it.”
“This is for you,” my mother said, handing over the basket of fruit and muffins. “You met my husband, Gerald. And these are my daughters, Lydia and Tasha.”
“Nice to meet you, girls,” Mrs. Fox said. “My older son Randy isn’t here now, but Jason is very excited to meet you.”
My eyes met those of the boy sitting in a small, simple wheelchair several yards behind his mother. I could tell by his khaki slacks and lame sweater-vest that he too had been forced to dress up for the occasion. He looked just as miserable as I did.
“He’s eight, isn’t he?” Mom asked. “Tasha is eight as well.”
“Yes, that’s wonderful,” Mrs. Fox said. “They could play together.” She lowered her voice to a stage whisper that people a mile away could hear loud and clear: “Jason hasn’t been having an easy time making new friends.”
Yeah. What a shock.
With that sentiment, Jason and I were herded off in the direction of his bedroom, presumably for me to be his new best friend. We both went, sort of like lambs being led to the slaughter.
Once we were alone in Jason’s room, we both just sat there awkwardly, not saying anything to each other. We were too young to even know how to make polite conversation.
I tried not to stare at Jason, but it was hard not to. I mean, really hard. Why did he need a wheelchair anyway? Maybe he had some awful disease where he was dying. Maybe it was contagious! Maybe he had some contagious fatal disease and my mother had locked me alone in a room with him. She’d be so sorry when I died.
Although to be honest, Jason didn’t really look like he was dying. He looked pretty much like a normal kid, but he was sitting in a wheelchair. He had short brown hair that it looked like his mother had attempted to comb, yet he’d managed to get it messy again before our arrival. He had green eyes that were bright, even in spite of how clearly miserable he was at the moment. And then there were the freckles that were sprinkled down either side of his nose, although those disappeared years later.
I was perched gingerly on Jason’s bed. He had Star Wars blankets. Actually, I had to admit, he had some pretty cool toys.
My mother always bought me dolls, but the thing is, dolls didn’t do much. Maybe these days, dolls cry and piss their diapers or whatever, but back then, in the eighties, dolls were much less interesting. But Jason had toys that did cool stuff. He had toy cars and trucks, he had a rocket, and a huge box of Legos. But what really piqued my interest was that he had what looked like a huge box of TRANSFORMERS.
Confession time: I loved Transformers. I watched the TV show religiously every Saturday, rooting for the Autobots to defeat the evil Decepticons. But nobody would buy me any Transformers because I was a girl and obviously it’s not an appropriate toy for girls. So I had about half a dozen My Little Ponies and at least a dozen Barbie dolls, but no cars that turned into robots. It was a source of frustration for me. Every time I asked my mother, she’d say, “What do you want one of those awful toys for? You’re a girl!”
But Jason, he owned the mother lode.
“Um,” I said, working up my nerve. “Are those, um, Transformers?”
Jason brightened. “Yeah. You like Transformers?”
I nodded shyly.
To my delight, Jason grabbed the whole big box and dumped them out on his bed. He seriously had every Transformer in existence. He had Optimus Prime, of course, most of the Autobots, Megatron, the Decepticons including the cassette spies, plus a bunch of the newer ones like the Dinobots, the Insecticons, and even Devastator. I was majorly impressed. If I were a little older, I would have creamed myself or something.
“Oh my God,” I breathed. “You’re the luckiest person alive.”
About Annabelle Costa
Annabelle Costa is a teacher, who writes in her free time. She enjoys the wounded hero genre, involving male love interests with physical disabilities, who don’t follow the typical Hollywood perception of sexy.
We’re officially in the Spring season and as usual, there are gorgeous trends popping up left and right. Whether its crop tops, florals, prints or leather, we’ll spell it all out and tell you the best ways to incorporate these top trends into your wardrobe. Check them out below:
Leather is everywhere and while it might seem like the unlikeliest option for the Spring, the fun twists are sure to make you want to indulge. From leather skirts to sweatpants, we’ve seen it all this spring and picking out the “right” leather piece for your wardrobe is not as hard as it may seem. When shopping around, make sure you select a piece that has a nice lining that is comfortable for your skin as leather will surely make you sweat and anything you can do to combat this is key. Try to spice things up and look for colored leather pieces – leather is offered in a ton of rich colors this season like, blue, red, burgundy, etc. (Remember: faux is always an option too! Also called ‘vegan leather’)
Dresses are synonymous with springtime and the fun frocks that hit the runway this season all had a few things in common. The sporty styles were all A-line, sleeveless and had fresh pops of color throughout. You didn’t need to be sitting front row at New York Fashion Week to know that, and you can head to your local Forever 21 or H&M to get in on the hot trends this season. Spice things up by throwing on a thin belt with your dress or a bold statement necklace. Always accessorize when you’re wearing a dress – it has the potential to completely change your look!
Black & White Blocking
Kim Kardashian currently lives by this trend, and it’s definitely one of the more popular ones you’ll see this spring. Black and white are colors that stay relevant throughout the seasons, but this spring the pair are especially prominent. The best thing about this trend? There are tons of ways you can make yourself look slimmer by wearing black and white. Go for dresses that are primarily white with black side panels, creating the illusion of a slimmer figure. Also if you want to accentuate a certain part of your body, for example you want to create the illusion of bigger hips, throw on a black top with a white skirt – you’ll be surprised at how simply wearing certain colors has the ability to “change” your shape.
Bright bold sunglasses are always a fun staple during the spring. The best part about sunglasses is that they fit everyone! Visit your local sunglasses retailer to get them to fit your face for the best shape – aviator, round, square, etc. Once you figure out the best shape for your face, look for fun colors that will make any outfit pop. Neons and pastels are appropriate colors for the spring and if you add them to any outfit, you’ll be shocked at how immediately your look is kicked up a few notches on the style scale. Happy hunting!
Some people are terrified of stripes because of the old cliché that they make you look large. But this isn’t always the case. This season we’re seeing ways they can be worn to actually accentuate certain parts of your body and make a huge fashion statement all at once. Avoid horizontal stripes because they’ll make you look wider – opt for vertical stripes to look longer and slimmer.
While new trends are always emerging, be sure you’re sticking to things that are most comfortable for you and that you think you can wear a little longer than the trend lasts. Happy shopping!
You may also like:
By Ashley Manta
Sexy time with a partner can be hard to come by sometimes. (Bad pun, sorry!) Seriously though, with partners who work, or one who works and one who manages the household, or kids, etc. etc., it can become difficult to find time for intimacy. So I encourage you to find time for sexy play whenever you can, even if it’s while you’re making breakfast/lunch/dinner/dessert.
Food play doesn’t have to be a fetish; it could just be a fun way to interact. So picture this: one partner is making dinner, let’s say spaghetti, and is stirring the pot of sauce on the stove. I’m assuming that you’re making sauce from scratch, because I’m Italian and that’s how we roll. If not, you’re still probably heating up the sauce on the stove, and perhaps adding a bit of red wine to enhance the flavor. Just a suggestion. So partner A is stirring the sauce and pulls out the wooden spoon to taste it, to make sure the flavor is just right. Perhaps partner B is standing nearby and asks for a taste. Voila! Instant opportunity! A quick kiss, licking sauce off the corner of the mouth, or possibly a mini food fight, and you’ve just had a nice sexy moment.
Sexy time doesn’t have to be long, drawn out, or planned. Frequent touching, kissing, or caressing throughout the day can do wonders to remind your partner just how much they love sexy time with you.
Here’s another idea. Who hates doing dishes? (Me!) So what if the dishes came with an incentive? For every minute it takes to do the dishes, that’s banking a minute of sexy time with your partner. And since you’re doing the dishes, you get to choose the activity. 10 minutes of dishes = 10 minutes of your partner going down on you? Sounds like fun to me! Or maybe 20 minutes of dishes = a 20 minute back massage. The possibilities are endless! Imagine fighting over who gets to do the dishes!
Then there’s the ever-popular human sundae. You pour chocolate sauce, whipped cream, honey, peanut butter, caramel (you get the idea) wherever you want your partner to lick. Pro tip - keep sugar out of the vagina - it’s a recipe for an infection that is anything but sexy. Use food as a road map for intimacy. When you’re baking, have your partner lick the icing/batter off your finger. The fingertips have tons of nerve endings, and it can be incredibly arousing.
A close friend of mine is an oncologist. She works long hours and has two young children. She and her husband are often pressed for time. She’s an excellent cook and spends a lot of time in the kitchen preparing meals for her family. I asked her how she finds time for intimacy with such a busy life and she said, “I put on Dora the Explorer for the kids and start making dinner. I know exactly how long the show lasts. My husband knows that when the show starts it’s time for fun!”
The most important thing is get creative and have fun! If sexy time isn’t playful, then what’s the point? A sense of humor is vital to a healthy sexual experience. Real people don’t fuck like porn stars—there are no flawless bodies or perfect sexual interactions. Some of the best advice I ever received was “enjoy the sex you’re having.” Don’t try to have the kind of sexual experience you think you’re “supposed” to have.
You’ll notice I’ve used the phrase “sexy time” instead of “sex” throughout this article. I think people naturally think of sex as intercourse, and I don’t want to limit the experience. Sexy time could include intercourse, oral stimulation, touching, rubbing, licking, caressing, kissing, cuddling, and all manner of other activities in which you and a partner choose to engage. The only limit is your imagination. Your partner’s body is a treasure map and there are lots of X’s!
You may also like:
There are two truths in Monstrum – humans never live and vampires never die.
Corinne “Luc” Lucas resides underground with the rest of the surviving humans, still recovering from the war and the undead’s claim to power. She is an unlikely Recruit training to be a Blood Keeper when she challenges Monstrum’s truths head-on. Luc never thought they would turn her into a weapon. She never thought she would learn what she learned. She never thought her blood would turn vampires to ash.
Be advised: The Blood Keeper trilogy is a Young Adult series, strong with supernatural, mythological, and consequently, human themes. The Blood Keeper’s Prophecy contains scenarios involving combat, war crimes, and paranormal encounters with the likes of vampires and other nonhumans.
The vampire glides in front of me and holds my stare, his wide black pupils pushing out the brown iris that’s flecked with red.
“Even vampires get lonely,” he whispers. His breath doesn’t smell of blood, but of fresh bread and pine needles. My heartbeat slips into a new rhythm.
“It’s a pity you pinned your hair like that.” Bartholomew says, reaching behind my head. He removes the band securing the bun and my hair unravels down my back.
The vampire probes his nose into the air. “Honeysuckle in your hair. I love honeysuckle.” The twins and I picked honeysuckle yesterday along the west wall. He rests his hands on my upper arms and his palms are like the cold side of a stone that’s been half-buried in the earth. Remember your training. Don’t let him seduce you. You’re in the container. This is the Tasting. I blink, trying to ignore his diagonal smile.
“This doesn’t have to hurt,” he says, his hands still clutching my arms.
I shove my fists upward in the space between us and jerk my elbows down on his forearms, releasing myself from him.
“Hard to get, eh?” the vampire laughs, mocking me.
Before I can take another breath I’m in his grip. With my arms pinned at my sides, he leans into my face. “It doesn’t have to be like this, honeysuckle.”
I lurch forward, breaking his nose with my forehead. A growl follows the trickle of dark red syrup that leaks from his nose. In one deft movement he resets the break with his hand and the bleeding stops, already beginning to heal.
“Did you think that was cute?” he heckles.
I pitch my head to the side, exposing my neck, and say, “Don’t forget to wipe your mouth when you’re finished with dessert.”
Bartholomew’s lips twist from sneer to vile snarl. “It looks like someone else needs to remember their place!”
There’s a sting at first, and then burning, as if a hot poker is being dragged across my neck. Then the cascade of warm blood courses past his icy lips and paints my skin.
This is what it feels like to be bitten. This was the end of humankind.
The burning stops.
Bartholomew lifts his head from my neck and hooks onto my eyes. The red in his reflect the firelight, his pupils having contracted to needlepoint holes. His gaze questions me and his brow folds. Suddenly his body falls limply on top of me and we both collapse on the container floor.
The fall knocks the wind out of me. I’m trapped underneath Bartholomew’s body, my jaw pinned under his right shoulder. I use my left arm to push on his rib cage but can’t accrue enough leverage to move him.
The container brightens as the incendus rays illuminate. The lights are striking the vampire’s back, but there’s no reaction. No smoke rises off his body. I don’t see anything but the glare of the light against the back container wall, mirroring our reflection.
I rock from side to side and am eventually able to roll Bartholomew off. Holding my fingers to my neck, I feel the wounds where the fangs punctured my skin: two raw, ragged holes. I pull my hand back and see the blood. My shirt is sticky. My hair is strewn across my shoulders. Some of it is stuck to my face and neck with blood.
I stand. The incendus beams are still pointed at the vampire with no effect. When they finally retract I adjust my eyes to the firelight.
At my feet is the vampire’s body. Mouth agape and arms outspread, he lies on his back. His pale skin is taut across his cheekbones and square jaw, his red spotted eyes stare into empty space.
Black dust begins to form on Bartholomew’s lips. His skin cakes and cracks like a dry creek bed, forming dark ridges along his arms and torso. The black dust swirls and separates his body into pieces of withered remains.
The vampire’s body disappears in a cloud of ash. All that’s left of him is a pair of prison pants and a shark’s tooth necklace.
Keepers Polski and McKorkel charge through the door of the container.
The vampire they captured was just here. I saw him. He bit me. He drank from me. Now he’s gone. Just a pile of black ash.
“What did you do?!” McKorkel barks, his built upper body rigid as he points at what’s left of the vampire.
“Nothing,” I say. It comes out like a whisper. I don’t recognize my own voice.
“Did you stake him? She must have staked him,” Polski says, not really talking to anyone in particular, his tall, lean body towering over me.
“I didn’t stake him.” My voice cracks and I clear my throat. What just happened?
Keeper Xavier storms into the container, his hands balled into fists at his sides. “Search her!”
The hands of Polski and McKorkel dictate my body. I’m wearing the required white cotton shirt, black pants, which are tight and without pockets, and my leather training boots. I have no substantial place to conceal a weapon but that doesn’t stop them. They’re pushing, pulling, and tugging on me, compromising my balance. Within seconds their hands have searched every inch of me and my boots have been removed.
About Brook Ellen West
Hailing from Kentucky, Brook now resides in Tacoma, Washington working as a freelance writer and author. She enjoys crying to Joni Mitchell, having her bourbon within reach, Oxford commas, and talking in third person.
By Nikki Leigh
I completed my training (34 relationship, love, sex and intimacy courses) to become a love coach and passed the final exam. I shared the news on my social sites and with friends and family. During the time when I was studying - I noticed that each time I mentioned studying to become a love coach – I got strange looks from people. I figured out quickly that was because they didn’t understand what a love coach does. So, I want to share some details about love coaching.
Above I said I completed my training, but that’s not really true. I studied and passed each of the individual courses in the love coach curriculum, but I plan to dig much deeper into many of the topics – and of course, share posts on a variety of blogs about the things I’m learning. As in many trades, love coaches continue to learn and to add to their knowledge of the topics from which their clients can benefit.
You are probably familiar with life coaches, business coaches, and other types of coaches. A love coach is a person who is trained to help people handle love and relationships. A marriage, a family or being part of a couple, are the most important relationships we have – so it makes sense that we would need someone to help us through the tough times. A person who is trained to help with relationships, can be unbiased and more helpful than going to a friend or family member – and many people do that when there are problems.
Love coaching can be something we do only for our acquaintances or can be used to expand an existing career or to start a new career. Life coaches can benefit from this training to expand their practices, many people in health related fields can continue their education through any of these courses (and individuals licensed in California, can get continuing education credits). People who are intimate party planners can add a great new dimension to the information and services they can offer clients by completing the love coach curriculum. And some people opt to take the love coach or the master sexpert training for their own love life. There are many options.
Introduction To Love And Relationship Coaching
What is the most important relationship in your life? We love our family and we all have friends that we love. The relationship with our significant other, husband, wife, or partner is one that we need to nurture and build. But how many people do you know in unhappy or unhealthy relationships?
I was looking for definitions of an unhealthy relationship and I discovered this:
People spend so much time to build new relationships. Most people expect healthy relationships that feature respect for differing attitudes, open communication about feelings, and trust in the other. Healthy relationships always add to a person's well-being. But, unhealthy relationships often cause stress and subtract from their happiness. Such relationships often leave them feeling depleted of energy.
… Disagreements, need for cooperation, and times of irritation are common in all kinds of relationships. These matters alone are not sufficient to indicate that a relationship is unhealthy. There are other aspects to think about in deciding whether a particular relationship is desirable or not.
In an unhealthy relationship, one or both participants attempt to control or influence the other, make the other feel bad, dictate the partner's moves, criticize the other's relatives, are scared of the partner's anger, discourage the other from being close with anyone else, and ignore each other in conversations. An unhealthy person is also overly possessive. He always spends time to criticize, or support others in criticizing, the other person's ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion or disability.
Unhealthy relationships can be easily avoided. A good option includes learning to love and look after yourself, irrespective of whether or not someone is in your life. Once you recognize your own requirements, you can simply work with the feelings of others, without letting them interfere with your own. When you make a relationship with yourself, you no longer need poor relations. In its place, you can educate yourself to have giving relationships.
(excerpts from - http://ezinearticles.com/?Unhealthy-Relationships&id=354372)
Many of us grew up in a household where our parents stayed together “for the children,” but we knew they were unhappy. Did you grow up promising yourself you would never make those same mistakes? You’re in good company if you did – but many people do not have the knowledge they need to have a successful, long term relationship. Do you continue to stay in an unhappy relationship? Do you leave someone you love because you just can’t work out the problems? Or, do you have another option? Yes – you do have an option.
There can be many possible reasons why a relationship is especially rocky and difficult. I found long ago that if you don’t feel good about yourself – dare I say, if you don’t love yourself – it is very difficult if not impossible to be in a healthy relationship with someone else. Growing up, I was taught all the things that “good girls” don’t do. I was also told that some things are “unapproved” – and people who do or think about these things are bad people. Many people have similar experiences, but what can you do about these things? Do these things have to make you feel bad about yourself and harm any relationships? NO!
In some religions, some societies, and some families, you will be treated badly, talked down to or even banned – for “unacceptable” behavior. This often leads to excessive sexual guilt that can wreak havoc with future relationships. It can lead women to feel they shouldn’t enjoy sex, it can lead to “sexless” marriages where both partners are unhappy and it can lead to other issues in your relationship.
People seldom feel this is something you would talk with a psychiatrist or psychologist about – and it certainly isn’t something that you would talk to your family or minister about. So, what option do you have? You can schedule an appointment with a love coach – also known as a relationship coach.
As a relationship coach – I work with people to help with many different problems. Some of the things I like to focus on include:
• Learn to love yourself, to accept yourself as you are
• Learn to understand and get past shame and guilt
• Learn how to set and reach goals to improve your quality of life
• Learn to get in touch with your sexuality and feel good about yourself
• Learning to deal with self-respect and/or self-esteem issues
• Help men and women understand how their sexuality affects their lives
• Work with people to build a solid foundation for a long term relationship
Even if you’re already in a relationship, you can work on that solid foundation and either prepare for a future relationship or work on your current relationship. The building blocks of a solid relationship can include: learning to flirt, successful dating, learn to communicate effectively, developing a real intimacy with your partner, the art of kissing, understanding and developing a lasting love, learning the skills and emotions of stimulating foreplay, how to enrich your life as a couple and much more.
Love And Relationship Coaching
For many people, there comes a time when they are dissatisfied with their life. He or she might think there is something more for him or her out there. The dissatisfaction could be about the job, love, children, sex life or about life in general. If you feel this way then you may be in need of a love coach.
A love coach is a lot like a baseball coach, a basketball coach or a football coach. The coaches teach and train the players to identify and change faulty habits, then develop so they can improve. A love coach works a lot like that. The coach helps people identify and change faulty habits, develop and improve the different aspects of their lives and to determine and achieve their goals in life.
Love coaching is a process that can change and improve your life in many ways. It is a partnership for you and a coach to work together for a period of time. You work together and have sessions that focus on your needs and other issues.
With many types of therapy, you discuss and focus on the past. This can include what your mother or father did that led you to this point in your life. With a love coach, we want to help you move forward, identify things that are holding you back and set appropriate goals that will move you and your life forward.
Through these sessions, the love coach helps you identify various strategies and solutions to improve your life and your love. This is an interaction between two persons and it is not only the coach who makes the decisions. You need to be actively involved in the decision making process. The most successful coaching happens when you are ready to take positive action to improve your life and love. Are you ready and motivated to make a positive change in your life?
Why Do You Need Love Coaching
The point in time when you want to and are ready to make a change can quickly come and go. This will happen from time to time and it begins to bother you.
• So what will you do about it?
• Is it okay to let this keep happening for the rest of your life?
• Is it okay not to do anything about it?
• Will you be happy if you leave this unresolved?
• Is it okay to feel dissatisfied?
With a love coach, you are given a helping hand to guide you to take that big leap and change for the better. He or she is there to aid in determining the right path for you to take to improve and feel satisfied with your life. The coach helps you learn how to improve your life.
Benefits Of Hiring A Love Coach
A love coach helps you determine what you want, why you want it, and how you can achieve it. He or she will help you take the steps to move from where you are now to where you want to be. A love coach gives encouragement, provides support and confidence as well as motivation for you to achieve your goals.
Who Benefits From Working With A Love Coach
• People who want to maximize their dating skills
• Single men and women looking for Mr. or Miss Right
• People who want to move from dating to intimacy with their partner
• Couples who want to a more creative romance
• Lovers who want to spice up their sex life
• People who need to learn to resolve and settle arguments with a partner
• People who want to stop being unlucky in love
• People having trouble dealing with a long-distance relationship
• People recovering from a breakup and who need to let go of their ex
• Couples who need to learn how to negotiate relationship boundaries
• People who are single, dating, in a relationship, or married who wants love and relationship advice, intimacy, or sex techniques
Will YOU Really Benefit From It?
Anyone can benefit from love coaching. It doesn’t matter where you are or who you are. As long as you want changes and improvements in your life, you will benefit from having a love coach. Whether you are a man, a woman, married or single, there are many ways a love and relationship coach can help you make changes in your life. If you’re single it is a great time to become a person who has the knowledge to have a healthy and long lasting relationship.
Love coaches have been effective when it comes to many different aspects of life. This includes self-esteem, self-confidence, dating, choosing a partner, keeping romance and intimacy alive, aspects of your sex life, putting more spice and variety you’re your relationship, learning to love yourself, and so much more. It all depends on you and what aspect of your life you need help with.
Your Part In The Process When Working With A Love Coach
I’m here to help you – but you need to be ready to take action and make positive changes in your life. Love coaching clients do have responsibilities. Remember, as a coach, I’m here to share the tools and processes you need to improve your life. In the end, you will be responsible for making the needed changes and this can empower you and strengthen your relationship in ways you probably can’t imagine.
Some of these responsibilities include:
• Avoid defending or justifying behavior
• Take the process seriously
• Use other supportive people in addition to your love coach for feedback
• Take responsibility for change and improvement in yourself
• Keep a journal of progress
• Give your love coach honest feedback about what is and is not working
• Be ready to take action!
Client Excuses - You must take responsibility for their actions. These are some common excuses, but none of these help you make positive changes and will only delay the results you want and need.
• Clients may attempt to blame and make excuses for why they haven’t been able to accomplish their goals. Your coach has the job of redirecting these excuses and to support you in taking responsibility for your relationships, sex life and overall satisfaction
• Some excuses may include “I’m like this because I had a bad childhood” or “I said I wanted a relationship, but everyone tells me it’ll never happen”
• Clients will often attempt to blame others for their dissatisfaction
• Clients need to know blame can become a very impeding behavior and stunt their emotional growth
• Blaming becomes an easy “out” since you cannot change someone else. So, many people “settle” when they don’t have to
• You may be asked to explain how you came to have certain beliefs. This can result in discovering the style or pattern of excuses came from past relationships where there was no closure.
• When you are tempted to make excuses – remember taking responsibility empowers you to get in the driver’s seat and take control and change the destructive patterns that didn’t work in the past. This awareness can help reduce your stress level
Benefits Of Working With A Love Coach
• Achieve breakthrough results
• Be able to make changes and transitions more easily
• Build supportive structures and relationships in your life
• Develop more effective personal habits
• Discover what’s next in your life
• Gain greater clarity and focus
• Improve your effectiveness and productivity
• Increase ability to trust and learn how to decide on risks
• Increase energy, ease and flow in your life
• Increase satisfaction and fulfillment
• Increase your self-confidence and self-esteem
• Increase and improve your well-being
• Launch new projects
• Move beyond your previous limitations
• Move to a greater sense of balance and wholeness
• Remove obstacles that are holding you back
• Set and work toward goals in your life
• Take action to improve your life and relationships
• Tap into your inner wisdom
• Unleash your passion
• Enjoy life more!
How A Love Coach Works
• They are a Love Coach – not a counselor or therapist
• They offer coaching and education
• They do not offer therapeutic or medical advice
• They determine details about the sort of coaching that is needed
• They are realistic about the possibility of being helpful to you
• They discuss fees and details about coaching sessions in the beginning
• They help client set and reach goals – they do not try to “fix” the person
• They help clients focus on improving the future
• They do not focus on the past problems
• They monitor client successes and celebrate achievements
• They support and motivate clients and listen to help them form a plan
• They teach tools and techniques the client can use to achieve their goals
• They develop homework and “lovework” assignments to reach their goals
• They encourage clients to reach out to other professionals if needed
Ethics Of The Love Coach
A love coach is bound by all ethical requirements of other professionals. This would include confidentiality and other ethical guidelines. They must create a safe environment so the client feels they can share the details the coach needs to determine the best course of action to reach their goals. All clients need to sign a Love Coaching Agreement and you can see a sample agreement below.
• Never share personal details with anyone – except your Coach supervisor
• Never discuss the coaches personal sex life with clients
• Never judge or ridicule a client
• Never accept personal gifts from clients
• Always give full details about training, abilities, skills, experience, skills etc
• Never be sexually involved with clients or others connected to a client
What sort of things would you like to discuss with a Love Coach?
You may also like:
This article is late. Overdue. Why? Because I, as I do every year, broke my new year’s resolution to master my schedule two weeks into January, and the domino effect of my inability to manage my time effectively has reached what I hope is its pinnacle. Desperate for help, I turned to my friend Michelle, a full-time marketing maven who teaches Zumba three times a week, chauffeurs her two preteen daughters to karate and unicycle classes, and never arrives at a dinner party without a tray full of from-scratch cupcakes (red velvet, my favorite). Not to mention the fact that she always looks like she just stepped out of a salon. If I didn’t love her so much, I would hate her.
Her strategies for staying on top of everything that life throws her way seem deceptively simple, but in putting them to the test over the past two weeks, I can already see a difference. It’s almost like new minutes, then hours, appear in the day. If you have found yourself spinning out of control faster than the hands spin around the clock, give the tips listed below a try.
Make A Big To-Do About It
The classic to-do list is a classic for a reason: it works. There is so much ephemera floating around in our mental atmosphere these days, it’s impossible to keep things straight. Write it down, every day. Yes, keep a list of what needs to be accomplished over the week, but write down daily what needs to be accomplished to complete those things over the week’s time before the week manages to slip away from you. Lists can work within tasks too. When was the last time you made a grocery list? You can cut your grocery trip time in half with such a list! Lists have the added benefit of making you feel more in control, since the information is on a piece of paper rather than swirling around your head flirting with being forgotten.
Stop Saying There’s Not Enough Time
Really. Stop. Stop telling yourself there isn’t enough time in the day. There is enough time, the key is to organize the tasks to fit within given blocks of time. Got twenty-five minutes before you need to head out to yoga? Don’t plop down in front of Facebook or surf your DVR, scan your to-do list. Sure, you might not have enough time to clean out your closet, but what about that pile of bills that’s been sitting on the end table? Or those bags, still halfway packed, from your weekend to Vegas three weeks ago? Isn’t it about time you tucked your sequined tube top into the back of your closet where it belongs? Fit the task with the amount of time instead of starting a huge project that will be left undone, making you feel even more out of control.
Some tasks are mercifully brainless. Fold clothes while catching up on The Voice, get a hands-free device and make that long phone call to your best friend from high school while doing housework or making dinner. Take your bills to the Laundromat, or bring your laptop and get work done. In his book On Writing, Stephen King says he reads about 80 books a year, how does he find the time? He always carries a book and fills the spare minutes usually lost waiting in line at the post office or sitting in a dentist’s waiting room with reading. Get creative about this multi-tasking stuff.
Deal With Distraction
There will always be interruptions and distractions getting in the way of accomplishing your tasks, but resist the urge to let it stop you. Be flexible, deal with the distraction, then take stock of how much time you have left to complete your task. If there is not enough time, put it aside and figure out what else you can accomplish in the time you have left, what else can you cross off your list? And here’s a big tip: Avoid creating your own distraction! Be aware of when you find yourself off task. If you’re working at your desk and you start to notice how much dust has accumulated on your windowsill, don’t stop what you’re doing to clean it off. Put it on your list and attack the dust later.
You’re Only Human
Life is messy and imperfect. Remember that most of the things on your to-do list are not a matter of life and death and do not require perfection. Paying too much attention to detail in any given task in an attempt to get it ‘perfect’ is counter-productive. In fact, see if there are tasks on your list that can be eliminated. How many of those items are perhaps a thinly veiled attempt to create a distraction from the bigger priorities on your list? Do you really need to iron your pillow shams today? Or ever? Be flexible, forgive yourself, and acknowledge that some of your to-do’s are more like cherries on the top of the sundae; if they fall off and roll on to the next day’s to-do list, so be it.
The Power of No
This can be a tough one, but the fact of the matter is that nothing creates time like learning the magic of saying “no.” The fear of disappointing others by saying no can be overwhelming, but then again, so can being behind on accomplishing your own tasks. Furthermore, neglecting your own to-do list to help someone else with theirs can breed resentment, frustration and stress in general. When learning to prioritize you must accept and acknowledge the fact that your to-do list must be significantly whittled down before you can start taking on someone else’s tasks.
Writer Ambrose Bierce defined a day as “A period of 24 hours mostly misspent.” And to think he lived almost a century before Facebook and other distractions! It’s incomprehensible how readily we abuse the time we are given, with so many ways to while away moments only to lie in bed at the end of the day, stressing out over all the things we meant to accomplish. If you manage to master, or even grapple at, the above tips, you might find that there is enough time in the day even for you spend some time doing a whole bunch of nothing which, let’s face it, should be somewhere on the to-do list to begin with. What’s the old saying? We are human beings, not human doings.
You may also like:
- Total Body Workouts For Spring - KendraWilkinson.com
- Top 10 Sex Positions - She Knows
- 10 Celeb-Inspired Activities To Usher In Springtime - Betty Confidential
- Is Lack Of Sleep Getting In The Way Of Your Relationship? - Your Tango
- When Your Tastes Clash: How To Design & Decorate As A Couple - Casa Sugar
- Hitched: 7 Things I Regret About Our Wedding - The Frisky
- 5 Ways To Have A Hotter Sex Life - Huffington Post
- He Dumped Me & We Work Together! - Tres Sugar
Josey Vogels is the author of two syndicated sex and relationships columns -- My Messy Bedroom & Dating Girl. She has written five books on sex and relationships, including her most recent, Bedside Manners: Sex Etiquette Made Easy. Her sixth book will be published in Spring 2011.
A popular radio and TV host, Josey’s fresh and frank take on matters of the heart have made her Canada’s most popular sexpert.
Excerpt: The Boy Next Door by Annabelle Costa
Mother's Day Gift Guide
Excerpt: Click by Lisa Becker
Beginner's Tantra Practice
He's Just Not Into You
Review and Excerpt: Double Whammy by Gretchen Archer
Do You Need A Love Coach? Part 2
Excerpt:Revenge, Sex, and Other Ways to Spice Up Your Life by Kellie Kamryn
Review: Wolf's Desire (Caedmon Wolves Book 4) by Ambrielle Kirk
11 Clever Tips To Build A Successful Business