By Lady Cheeky
Ahhh January - the crisp, bracing air, the relief that the holidays are behind us and the optimistic promise of a whole new year ahead. Each January my friends, colleagues and nosy grocery store clerks ask me the dreaded question “have you made any New Year’s resolution’s?” My reply is always the same one I give for anyone asking me my age “Fine thank you”. The confused look on their faces never ceases to amuse me as I slink away; proud I’ve escaped answering that question yet again.
I’m not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions. I’ve always been an immediate gratification gal and didn’t make the yearly over-promise because it always seemed too high aiming and unachievable in a satisfying amount of time … at least for this impatient writer.
Yet, I can’t deny there is some wisdom in making a resolution and sticking to it. The discipline and drive to commit to an immediate improving of one’s condition is a great way to ameliorate our well-being and over-all health.
This year, I was going to take that principle to heart. I was determined to improve one thing in my life pronto and I knew exactly what that was. In the past few months I had become all too aware that my sex life had started to take the back burner to other parts of my life. After my divorce a few years ago, I had vowed never to let my sex life suffer again. That was it. No more sitting around. It’s 2013 I am going to improve my sexual attitude. But where to start?
Meditate: Figure Out The Basic Need That's Not Being Met
On New Year’s Day, I turned off all electronic devices (gasp!) and began to search my soul for the answer I knew was buried. How could I re-energize my sex life? Frustrated, I picked up one of my favorite books on sexuality, Women’s Anatomy of Arousal by Sheri Winston. Bingo. Sheri never disappoints. All I had to do was read these lines under the heading Whole Sex – Macro to Micro:
“Your sexuality is about your connection to everyone and everything around you … you are a sexual being not a sexual ‘doing.’ Sex is not just something you do – it’s a fundamental and inseparable part of who you are.”
This really resonated with me. My lack of importance placed on sex recently was the loss of focus on how it makes me feel when I’m connected to my sexual self. When I’m having great sex my senses are more astute, my mood is elevated and my interaction with others is more positive and engaging. I missed all those feelings and wanted them back.
Enumerate: Identify Three Ways To Achieve Your New Goal
I love to make lists, but I can get carried away and end up overwhelming myself with steps and procedures to follow. So, I kept it simple and allowed myself three things to do to change my sexual attitude. For me, the best first step is to research. Researching always gets me excited about my topic and it’s a way my inner “know-it-all” gets exercised. In my fact-finding mission I came up with three ways to encourage my sexual attitude to grow and become more diverse. My personal list is made up of A) something I’ve wanted to learn, B) something I’ve wanted to become better at and C) something I’ve been putting off. I came up with: learning Orgasmic Meditation, become better at the art of lingam (penis) massage and a resolution to acquire a new, like-minded lover to practice with. Great! I had my list, now I had to take the leap and start the journey.
Participate: Take The Quickest Action To Achieve One Of Your Goals
This is perhaps the most challenging part of change, the actual dirty work (pardon the pun). However, the most important aspect of this last step is not to delay. I resolved to tackle my chosen first step immediately. If I didn’t engage myself posthaste, chances were I’d keep putting it off. When I found a local Orgasmic Meditation group on Meetup.com, I signed up for my first introduction that same week. Just taking that first step excited and inspired me to investigate other ways to encourage my inner sex goddess to express herself again. I found my desire to pick up the Anais Nin book I had put down and was suddenly inspired to write more erotica.
The most surprising aspect of these three steps was that it immediately opened up my sensuality again. I had a familiar sway to my step and lilt to my voice just from acknowledging and welcoming it back into the fold. I truly believe this small but powerful master-stroke toward changing my sexual attitude right away on New Year’s Day, opened me up to attract more like-minded partners and friends – people who support my new attitude and foster its growth.
I’m only eleven days into the re-invigorating of my sybaritic soul, but so far I’m very glad I actually made and followed through with a resolution this year. Now, if people ask me if I’ve made any New Year’s resolutions, I won’t confuse them with a flippant remark, I’ll intrigue them with the answer “I’m changing my sexual attitude!” as I skip off to practice Orgasmic Meditation, lingam massage or make-out with a new lover.
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