By Josey Vogels
I know you wanted to get you sweetie that expensive leather harness and strap-on dildo for Christmas this year. Or that fancy Japanese dildo with the revolving pearls inside. But darn, you went and blew your holiday budget on a new microwave for mom and power tools for dad. Not too worry.
Thrifty shopper that I am, I thought I'd see if there weren't some alternative sex-toy options for those of us on a tight budget this holiday. So I headed to that primo where-can-I-buy-crap-but-not-blow-my-budget destination -- The Dollar Store.
It's cheaper than shoe shopping and you can find some really cool stuff. Some of it great sex-toy material. Like a neon-green feather duster. Fun for tickling and teasing. Toss on an apron and some high heels and nothing else and you can play maid.
If you're into role playing, most dollar stores carry an array of sheriff toys to suit every budget. The deluxe $5.99 kit I splurged on comes complete with badge, handcuffs and a billy bat with a ridged handle that makes a great dildo. Arrest your sweetie and handcuff him to the bed.
Water pistols are fun sex toys. Great for water sports, without the pee (of course, you can fill it up with whatever you like). As far as I'm concerned, water and sex are always a winning combination. These too come in a variety of shapes, sizes and prices. I found a lion-shaped gun that spits water out its mouth. It might be just the thing to bring out the animal in you.
Sometimes with more expensive sex toys - since you can't exactly try before you buy - you can spend all this money on something that you don't even end up enjoying. Shopping for sex toys at the dollar store allows you to try similar items for next to nothing and then, if you like the sensation, you can always shell out the money for the real thing.
For example, you may have seen those expensive ben-wah balls at the sex shop. Women are supposed to keep these smooth metal balls inside their vagina for a little added fun while they go about their daily business. A lot of people have told me you can't really feel them. Well, rather than spending the money to find out for yourself, pop in a couple of beautifully smooth giant marbles from dollar store and see if they do anything for you.
If you want to experiment with a little S&M or bondage but you're not sure you're ready to make the often hefty investment for the gear, try a dollar-store skipping rope. Use it to tie your partner up or turn it into a lasso and play Wild West.
Want to give your partner a good spanking? Get yourself a paddle-and-ball game and simply detach the rubber ball! And if you find you don't like your new paddle, you can re-attach the ball and still get hours of fun out of your purchase. I found a nice black nylon blindfold at the drugstore for a couple dollars. It's made to wear while you're sleeping but you can put it on your partner while they're tied up with the skipping rope and you're spanking them with your new wooden paddle.
In for some romance? For a couple bucks you can pick up some baby oil, a few scented candles, maybe some bubble-blowing stuff. Throw in a couple Mr Big bars (two for a buck!) just to make him feel good. Splurge on a $10 bottle of wine and you've got a whole night of sex fun for under $20.
The other great thing about buying your sex toys at the dollar store is that nobody knows you're buying sex toys, which is perfect if you're shy about this kind of thing.
You can even find makeshift sex toys lying around the house. Scarves make great blindfolds or wrist and ankle ties. I have long strings of fake pearls I picked up at a thrift shop that feel really good when you run them across your crotch. (Clean 'em first; someone else may have had the same idea).
Clothespins make great nipple clamps. I find the plastic ones don't pinch as hard.
So you see, you don't have to spend a fortune to get your sweetie (or yourself) some nifty sex toys this Christmas. You just need a little imagination and maybe a dollar store nearby.
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