By Josie Brown

For centuries, Valentine’s Day has been the bane of the single woman’s existence. The weeks leading up to this internationally celebrated day of love are filled with anxiety and hope.

Will Mr. Right come into view?

Will Mr. Ambivalent get off his duff and do something special with you, or blow it by forgetting it…and you?

Or, on the night of February fourteenth, will you be vulnerable to any Mr. Wrong who crashes your one-girl pity party, at the dive bar down the street?

Valentine’s day isn’t stupid. It’s a wake-up call. It’s there to remind you that life’s big picture is your key relationships. 

To put this into perspective ask yourself this: how many hours a week do you work out? Three times a week, for an hour or two? Or, say, one hour  a day? And how many times a week do you put yourself out there to find your soul mate?

If it’s less time than what you spend when working out, face it: you’re not giving it your all.

No wonder why February fourteenth is just another day to you. If you don’t make the effort, why should anyone else? 

Maybe it’s time to put this day of wine and roses in perspective. Just remember this: the only way not to be a V-Day victim is to…

1. Plan It Yourself

Got a special guy? Sit down with him, and your calendars, and make a date of a lifetime. Yeah sure, it would be great if he thought to do this, all by his little lonesome…

Realty check: Men are like dogs. They have to be trained. So give him a long leash, but keep him on a choke collar.

2. Work Around It

Got a certain guy in mind? Ask him out. Better yet, ask him over. But don’t do it on Valentine’s Day. Do it the day before. That way, it’s no big deal. Just keep it real: just you, a great meal, a good bottle of wine….and lots of conversation.  Because in the long run, Valentine’s Day won’t be anywhere near as important as the day Mr. New realized your were Ms. Right.

3. Work Through It

Sometimes you don’t need a man. You just need a plan. You need to be out and about, with others. You’ll always have friends who are also between relationships. Give them a call. Go out to dinner, or to a movie. Go to a literary event, or to a party. In other words, enjoy yourself with people who enjoy you, too. When we are happy, we attract those who want to be around happy people.

Who knows? Maybe this will be the night Mr. Right finds you.

Bottom line: you’ve got nothing to lose, and a lot to gain.

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