Ladies, we all know that when we find a guy we really like and we’ve been dating for a while, the next step is the big C…commitment. You want him to lock it down and keep the focus on only you – you want a more committed relationship. But what if it’s been a while and your guys still isn’t budging on taking your relationship to the next level? Here are few little tips that may help to sway him in the right direction without being too overbearing and aggressive:
Talk About The Future
You want to be careful with this one because you don’t want to talk about what lies ahead for the both of you so much that it starts to scare him off. If you’re interested in potentially building a future with a person, it’s important that you feel them out to see what their mind set is and if they’re thinking the same thing. Make little mentions of your life together down the line. For example, you can say something sweet about looking forward to experiencing different milestones (such as buying a home), or even something that’s not so heavy like traveling together “next year.” Specify a time on the things you’re talking about to gauge his reaction. If he clams up or seems like he’s caught off guard, he might not be on the same page as you. But if he chimes in and adds to the conversation about your future, there’s a chance he is almost ready to commit or at least it’s in his thought pattern.
Stay Away From Ultimatums
This is the worst thing you can do when trying to get a man to commit to you as it’s way too forward and will likely send him running in the furthest direction AWAY from you. Strong-arming anyone into anything is not a good idea, especially when it comes to love. If you force him into making a decision about committing to you (for example, “if you don’t commit to me, it’s over”), it will not only turn him off and make him resent you, it will make you look desperate and unattractive. Even though you think putting your foot down might nudge him in the right direction, is it really worth risking the relationship? And if you feel the need to ‘test’ the relationship in this way, you probably already know ‘deep down’ that it’s not going anywhere.
Listen To What He Says
If the day you met this man, or early on in the relationship he told you he’s not the committed type, believe him. Men are oftentimes more honest than we think and if a man is letting you know up front his outlook on commitment, and it’s not in your favor, don’t think you can change him. One of the worst things you can do is ignore what he’s telling you. Many women are told their men aren’t the committing type early on, but they think that with their “special power” they will have some way to change that, or that he’ll fall so deep in love, he’ll switch it up. Not the case. Don’t get me wrong, it does happen, but as long as your man is standing behind what he originally told you, it’s important to take into the account the fact that he just may not ever be ready for commitment.
Don’t Give Him Too Much
If you treat him like you’re in a committed relationship and give him all the things a committed woman gives to a committed man, then why should he officially make the commitment. I know you’ve heard the phrase, why buy the cow when you’re getting the milk for free? And if not, then think about it…he has no reason to take your relationship to the next level if nothing is going to change when he does. Have you stopped seeing other people, letting him stay over whenever he wants, cooking and cleaning for him, etc? Probably so, and if you’re not doing all of those things, you’re probably doing at least one or two of them. If you want to make a point about how and why commitment will be better than what the two of you are experiencing now, then you have to take some of those “benefits” away. And if you haven’t started to do those things, then don’t start until you see him moving towards the direction you’d like.
Don’t Wait Around Forever
Some men will never commit. This is a fact you’re going to have to face if you want to be in a committed relationship. If you’re with someone who is showing no signs of commitment, they’ve told you it’s not going to happen and nothing has changed since you’ve started dating, you may have to count this one out. Don’t force something that is just not meant to be. It’s useless to wait around for someone who is never going to change and if commitment is that important to you, unfortunately you’re not as compatible as the two of you thought you were going to be. Don’t continue to wait around for someone to change when you could be striking up something new with another person who may be exactly what you’re looking for.
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