By S.H. Blannelberry
No one wants to get screwed over on Valentine’s Day. Sure, we might want to get screwed, but not screwed over.
You know the difference right?
Getting laid (screwed) is great! Getting used and abused (screwed over) is often hurtful and demeaning.
So, what differentiates the two?
The way you’re treated afterward.
If you got laid, chances are you’ll have another date and you’ll build some kind of emotional bond grounded in mutual respect and intelligent conversation – and best of all, you’ll get laid again.
If you got used, you’ll probably never hear from him again and you’ll feel like a cheap hooker whose pimp has just burned her wrists with a curling iron.
The goal of this article is to help you avoid the latter. And I should point out that this advice is for single women, or those women who are nascent stages of a ‘relationship’ or those who are blind dating or those who just met a potential suitor online or those who are going out with someone on Valentine’s Day for the sole reason that you can tell your friends that you didn’t spend Valentine’s Day alone.
Signs That He Might Screw You Over
First up, if he’s the hottest guy you’ve ever dated chances are you’ll never see him again.
As they say, water seeks its own level. But on occasion, men will purposely court a woman who is less attractive knowing that it will likely lead to sex.
This is definitely true on Valentine’s Day when men know that women are probably feeling wistful or lonely or desperate.
So, do a gut check. Ask yourself, “Is this dude within my wheelhouse?” If he’s not, if he’s out of your league, don’t put out.
Or, put out knowing that this is likely going to be a one and done scenario. Be mentally prepared for the “Last night was great, but I’m just not feeling it” text message that you’ll receive the next day.
Second, always push for dinner; never settle for drinks.
If he’s not willing to buy you a full meal, then he’s either cheap or poor or he’s not taking you seriously. All of which is no good.
When he says, “Let’s meet for drinks around 10ish?” Respond by saying, “Actually, how bout dinner at 7:00?”
Gauge his response.
If he claims he has a ‘prior engagement’ or an ‘errand to run’ tell him you’d rather reschedule when you both have time to sit down and have a proper meal.
The guy who likes you or the guy who won’t ‘just hit it and quit it’ won’t have a problem taking you out to get some steak and lobster.
While you’re on your Valentine’s Day date, ask yourself (a) how much is he drinking? and (b) how much am I drinking?
If he’s slamming beers, Jager, whiskey, whatever… he’s got an agenda: Get drunk. Get laid. Beyond that, there’s not much else running through his head.
Similarly, if he’s swilling down alcohol, then there’s a good chance he’s trying to get you to partake.
You should have fun, but you should also be wary. Try to stay sober.
Remember, there’s a reason why men say, “candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”
Fourth is what I call the ‘white knight.’ Beware of the ‘white knight’ – the charmer, the Eddie Haskel-type (dated reference) - the guy who is overly chivalrous.
Most guys are only as polite and as romantic as they need to be, which all things considered isn’t really that polite or romantic.
If a guy genuinely likes you, he’ll pump it up a little in the romance and manner’s department, meaning he’ll open up a door, he’ll pull out your chair, he’ll place a napkin on his lap before he chows down, he’ll excuse himself to fart, he’ll say “pardon me” instead of “what” or “huh,” little things that show (a) he cares and (b) he likes you.
But if a guy is an all out smooth criminal, if he’s too polished, if he’s overly romantic – poetry recitals, ballads, magic tricks, whale calls, etc. – if it looks as though he’s putting on a performance, then he is.
Lastly, locale is a big indicator of interest.
That is, the distance he is willing to travel (and the respective inconveniences that come with traveling) to see you will tell you a lot.
It’s common sense.
A guy is not going to drive to East Jesus for a girl he just wants to have sex (well, that’s not entirely true, a stalker a desperate lecher a recently released convict will, but there’s really no sense in talking about outliers, except to mention that you may want to Google his name before you agree to go out with him).
So, before he picks you up to go out, ask yourself how far was his drive in (or flight or boat ride or bus trip)?
If it took awhile and it was kinda a pain in the butt, he probably cares less about sex and more about spending time with you.
If you’re meeting him somewhere in his neighborhood or, heaven forbid, you have to pick his ass up, watch out! He’s probably looking for a free ride (forgive the stupid pun).
Anyways, those are some tips. And if they don’t work and you still get screwed over, don’t fret. It happens to us all.
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