When you meet somebody you like or are attracted to, your underlying motivation is to keep them in close proximity – both emotionally and physically.
Texting has become an increasingly important and integral tool for developing and maintaining relationships. Psychologists are interested in the factors that influence relationships, and the geeks in white lab coats over at HaveYourPick.com have taken a sophisticated and scientific approach to Texting Psychology; to unravel some useful and practical psychological pointers which will help you become a better texter and spark that much desired attraction!
Smileys! : )
The use of smiley faces can instantly change the feel of your text and give your texts that needed personality. Using the correct smiley to compliment the text brings a more human element to your message that otherwise gets lost through communicating electronically – therefore increasing the likelihood of getting a positive reply. Psychologist’s call this framing – where surrounding information can dramatically influence your perception and focus. Messages without emoticons and exclamation marks can appear boring and blunt; which through the psychological mechanism of unconscious misattribution can lead your texter to assume that you are boring and un-engaging.
e.g. consider the contrasting differences between these two texts, which ultimately convey the same information but are perceived as wildly different!
I’m so happy. I passed my exam this morning.
I’m so happy!! I passed my exam this morning : )
Although no new information is given in the latter example, the emotions and exclamation marks bring the text to life and make it appear much more bouncy and enthusiastic. Which personality would you rather be with?
Consider Your Reply Time
Texting back instantly is a no no! Psychologically, you are sending out an unconscious signal transmitting that you have nothing else better to do. Never a good thing! Also, it sends out an unattractive message that suggests that you will drop everything you’re doing in order to reply to a text. By varying your reply time, not only do you open the door of mystery, the recipient will also be anticipating your reply. Psychologists have long known that the anticipation of a pleasurable event is by far more pleasure inducing when you have an understanding of when you will receive it, thanks to the fluctuation of happy chemicals in our brain called dopamine!
What’s Your Name?
Using the other person’s name in a text builds an unconscious bond. Everybody loves hearing the sound of their own name, especially when somebody they like uses it. Not only does it help concrete bond, it helps to personalize your text. However, don’t say their name in every message you send as the positive effect with soon diminish. Who knows, while today you’re only saying their name in a text, soon they may be shouting your name in the bedroom ;)
Having a good memory is never a bad thing and that certainly applies to attraction and texting. If you know that your texter has an important event coming up or something of interest going on in their life e.g. an exam or a job interview, not only does it give you the perfect excuse to get in contact, it lets them know you remember it, that you care. Since we like people more when they like us, this can be a very useful technique indeed to help consolidate that emotional connection.
Ask Questions But Don’t Interrogate
The best questions to ask are often open-ended. Allow your texter to explore anything they wish! This way you can quickly latch onto a conversation that they are intrinsically interested in, which they feel motivated to continue. Questions like “How’s your day been?”, “What have you got planned this week?”, “Are you getting up to anything exciting this weekend?” tend to work very well and are not too intrusive, and your texter will subtly be telling you what they want to talk about. Engaging conversation will ultimately allow you both to develop a bond and connect emotionally!
For more information on the Psychology of texting someone you like visit www.haveyourpick.co.uk
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