By Josey Vogels
It's party time. That's right, 'tis the season to get all dolled up and get out there and strut your stuff. I love holiday parties. In part, because it gives me the chance to finally wear those flashy red shoes I bought on sale last summer because "they'd be soooo much fun with a fabulous party dress." Partly because I get to now go out and buy the fabulous party dress I need to go with the shoes because none of the ones in my closet will do. But mostly because there's nothing like a bunch of dressed up drunk people to make the holiday swing.
For me, the excitement starts before I even leave the house. Like a little kid, full of excitement about trimming the tree, I get giddy trimming my toenails...then painting them a nice deep red, and sliding on my fancy new shoes. Then I grab every glittery, velvety, sparkly thing from my closet, throw it on my bed and roll around in it. Honestly, though, this season's fashions are perfect holiday fare. The classic cuts make you feel sexy and movie-star glamourous. The faux fur collars and glittery-everything make holiday dressing divine and are just the thing to make you feel flirtably delicious. Because we all know, the festive nature of Christmas parties brings out the flirt in all of us.
Whatever you wear, make sure you wear your sexiest underwear underneath for that added sense of confidence. The idea is to walk out the door feeling like a million bucks, the kind of feeling that makes heads turn when you walk in a room, because you know you look fabulous. Because we all know that when it comes to standing out in a crowd, it's not just about what you wear but how you wear it. If you go out feeling like your gut's bloated and your underwear's riding up yer butt, it's hard to feel confident. The woman who's proud of her sexily round belly and doesn't spend all night worrying about it so much she can't have fun is the one that's gonna get noticed. But sexual confidence also doesn't necessarily mean you stick a neon sign on your boobs that says, "I'm trying to be sexy."As far as I'm concerned, looking sexy, like being a good flirt, is all about not trying too hard.
It also depends on the kind of party you go to. You might not want to go to your office Christmas party all sexed up, for example. You don't necessarily want your colleagues thinking of you in that way. A word on office Christmas parties. With today's downsizing and precarious job security, the heyday of getting sloshed, prancing around with lamps on your heads and doing each other in the copy room at the office Christmas party are out. You don't want to have to avoid eye contact with anyone at the office the next day because you're not sure whether you did anything you should regret, like sucking face with Bob from payroll in the middle of the dance floor.
"We told one guy he pulled his pants down in the middle of our office Christmas party," one woman tells me about one particularly memorable office party. "He was so drunk he had no idea whether to believe us or not."
You want to avoid this type of thing.
That doesn't' mean you can't let your hair down a little at the office holiday shindig and show your human side so everyone can see just how wonderfully charming you are. Just maintain professionalism. These days, the office party is more of a chance to network, not flirt.
Otherwise, take advantage of the festive mood and flirt away. Unless you're with a date, of course. But even then, "Flirting with other people is a great way to rejuvenate a relationship," says one flirt-positive woman. "as long as you take the sexual tension back to the relationship."
Let's put it this way, festive flirting doesn't mean thrusting you tongue down someone's throat just because it's midnight on New Year's Eve. But it does mean you can use the excuse to haul some guy's butt under the mistletoe for a playful peck on the cheek. Subtlety is the key when it come to flirting. So is being perceptive, and being able to read body language and respecting personal-space zones.
Just because you've managed to maintain eye contact across the room for that fraction of a second longer than usual doesn't mean you can move in for the kill. Don't get too close unless invited, and if things suddenly cool off, that is not a signal to try harder. Even if you thought things were going swimmingly, when it comes to flirting, either party reserves the right to stop the game at any time without explanation.
Subtlety, however is not always what's in order.
Some men suffer sensory impairment, and unless you plop yourself down in his lap, he won't necessarily notice you. Sometimes they need a little help.
"I'm usually pretty bold," says a writer friend of mine. "I make eye contact, and, if they're looking back, I usually just smile and then I go over and say, 'Hello, how are you?' Or sometimes I get really bold. I walked over to this guy at a party once and said 'So are you gonna talk to me or are you gonna stare at me all night?' Sometimes, I find being very up front can be quite a fun turn on for both of you."
If you're too chicken to make the first move, set it up and make him do it for you. Toss him some signals - a quick smile as he walks by or lean over and whisper something in your friend's ear and then glance over at him. Make sure he sees it.
The one hazard of festive flirting is that things often get too festive. Drinking and flirting can get ugly. While alcohol may help grease your flirting wheels, too much alcohol can turn you into a greaseball and you'll be anything but glamourous. A truly classy chick maintains composure at all times.
Have a fabulously flirty holiday.
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