By Josie Brown
You love him—maybe too much. Or perhaps you show it in all the wrong ways.
Bottom line: if he feels that you just don’t understand him—or worse yet, that you’re more trouble than you’re worth—he won’t be hanging around much longer.
Here’s when you should curb your enthusiasm:
No-No #1: Don’t Bring Up His Old Girlfriends
If he wanted to be with her, he’d be there. But no: he’s at your side, not hers. So get over whatever insecurities you have about her. The past is the past. You are his present.
No-No #2: Don’t Bring Up Your Old Boyfriends
Again, there is nothing you can say to him to make him jealous. Instead he’ll be upset, resentful and discouraged. He’s there because the other guy never was. Let him know that he’s your new knight in shining armor.
No-No #3: Don’t Diss His Friends
Despite the fact that a few of them may be bozos, hearing this from you won’t make him lose them any quicker. He’s got to feel that the idea was his, and his alone.
Instead, ask the kind of questions in which his answers will help him come to this conclusion on his own. For example, you could say: “If the shoe were on the other foot, would you have done the same thing to him?” You’ll know that the light bulb will over his head goes off when he responds, “No. The dude’s a jerk.”
No-No #4: Don’t Give His Home A Surprise Make-over
A man’s home isn’t always his castle. Sometimes it is his cave. If it begins to smell like one, by all means help him with his laundry, or do his dishes, and know he’ll will appreciate it. But if you haul his favorite easy chair out to the dumpster, the next thing he dumps may be you.
No-No #5: Don’t Flirt With Other Guys When You’re With Him
When it comes to relationships, flirting is the worst sign of disrespect. The time to play belle of the ball is not when he’s squiring you around. If you’re in the mood to have a swarm of men buzzing around, that’ll happen soon enough: when he dumps you, because you’ve broken his heart. Is that what you want? If not, show him you appreciate him: every day, in little ways.
Josie Brown’s latest novel is The Housewife Assassin’s Handbook. Her book, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives, will soon be a dramatic series, produced by Jerry Bruckheimer