150 Shades of Play: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink is a sort of how-to companion guide to Fifty Shades of Grey. Whether you loved Fifty Shades, hated it but couldn’t put it down, or never read it but think your sex life could use some serious spicing up, then this book is for you! This helpful and hilarious illustrated A-to-Z guide includes:
• How to’s on role play, dirty talk, spanking, bondage & more
• Important safety info missing from the Fifty Shades trilogy
• A voyeuristic peek at all of Christian Grey’s “hard limits”
• Tips on shopping for top-of-the-line kinky accoutrements
• Notes on what the Fifty series got wrong about BDSM
• Everything beginners need to know to get their kink on!
Brought to you by America’s sex-writing sweethearts EM & LO, 150 Shades of Play will make your Christian and Ana fantasies a reality, both safely and sensually! Find out more at 150ShadesOfPlay.com.
Note: Every bolded word below is an entry in our new A-Z book, 150 Shades of Play: A Beginner’s Guide to Kink
What is kink? It’s the opposite of plain ol’ vanilla sex, the opposite of doing it in the same position 2.4 times a month, the opposite of just lying back and thinking of England. Kink is dramatic, deliberate, and dirty. When people talk about spicing things up, kink is Tabasco sauce. It’s the kind of extracurricular activity Christian Grey enjoys in Fifty Shades of Grey, give or take a Red Room of Pain. Being kinky might mean bringing props into the bedroom, it might mean acting out dark fantasies, it might even mean wearing something absolutely ridiculous—but then again, being kinky might just mean using a swear word or two when you’re makin’ lurve.
Most people define kink as anything they’d never do in bed—whether that means dressing up like a puppy dog (complete with collar, leash, and bone-gag) or simply doing it doggy style. Stuffy types will say that kinky means deviant, implying that those who do things a little differently in bed are touched in the head. We prefer the term unconventional—or better yet, creative—implying that those who do things a little differently in bed are just doing things a little differently in bed. When you compare it to the alternative—doing things the same way in bed for the next half century or so, potentially with the same person—who wouldn’t want to get their kink on?
A more technical term for kink is BDSM, which is short for bondage & discipline,domination & submission, and sadism & masochism. In layman’s terms, that includes tying each other up (rope, handcuffs, etc.), dressing up, role-playing, headgames, mindfucks, exploring fantasies, exploring orifices, exploring pain, exchanging power, wearing (p)leather, wearing rubber, wearing spandex,whipping, spanking, paddling, tickling, playing with food (see also sploshing), playing with temperature, playing doctor with medical toys…we could go on (we do, actually: Every bolded word here leads to an entry in our encyclopedia of sorts).
The list above might remind you of the things you do in bed, or the things you would like to do in bed, or the things you would never dream of doing in bed, or the things you think nobody should ever do in bed. And these categories are ever shifting—we bet there’s at least one thing that grossed you out a decade or two ago that you now engage in on a regular basis (and if there isn’t, you were either a very kinky teenager or you need to get out more). We’re not here to tell you exactly where you should draw your boundaries—everyone draws theirs in a different place, and what does it matter, so long as we all draw the shades? (And keep things safe, sane, and consensual, of course.) Rather, we just want to remind you that leaving your comfort zone and crossing your own personal boundaries every now and then—wherever they may lie—is one of the best ways to keep things hot ‘n’ heavy. Or at least entertaining.
But before you try something kinky, you need to bone up on it, as it were—because many kinky endeavors are dangerous if not done correctly. Yes, there is a wrong way to have sex, especially when it comes to BDSM. And the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy certainly doesn’t spell it out for you. So while our book is far from comprehensive (you’re not going to be able to wield a 12-foot bullwhip after reading it, so don’t even think about it), it will help learn you a naughty trick or two.
Yes, we said “learn.” We know there are purists out there who think that the best sex occurs naturally, spontaneously, and without any props or planning. We say, dry spells occur pretty naturally, too. And if you think the planning spoils the fun, then you’re not doing it right—it’s long-term foreplay, people, not homework! Besides, what’s so unsexy about putting a little effort and forethought into your sex life?
Those same purists also like to claim that kink is just a way to avoid true intimacy. And sure, if you can’t ever get in the mood unless your one-and-only has a ball-gag in place, then we might start to wonder. But as an element of a healthy sex life, exploring your dirtier, darker fantasies with a partner requires a boatload (or a buttload, if that’s your thing) of trust and communication, which can bring you closer than even the most teary-eyed, face-holding, make-up sex. Sure, you could get kinky with a near stranger, but we think that most of the activities in this book are best practiced—or hottest—with a long-term partner (then again, we’re kind of stuffy). After all, you can’t brew a little sadistic hate without its opposite: true wuv (or something like it). And what’s the fun of breaking a taboo if you’re with a stranger who has no idea you just crossed the line? Who’s gonna high-five you?
It comes down to this: We believe that every person’s sex life should contain at least one act they’d never share over brunch or beers—if nothing you currently do makes you blush that much, then keep reading (either that or shut up and let everyone else enjoy their pancakes, would ya?). John Waters once said, “I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.” In the absence of a vengeful higher power, consider this book a friendly reminder of how dirty sex can be.
Em & Lo Bio
Internationally respected veteran sexperts Em & Lo are the authors of the brand new book 150 Shades of Play: A Beginner's Guide to Kink. It is their seventh book together; their last book, SEX: How to Do Everything, was named by the Guardian as one of the ten best sex guides of all time, alongside The Kama Sutra and Ovid’s Art of Love. They have written for numerous magazines, including Glamour, Details, New York, and Marie Claire. They blog daily about sex, love, and everything in between at EMandLO.com.