If you’re like most women, you may live in fear of the inevitable day when your boyfriend makes a move toward your rear entry. For whatever reason, whether it was sparked from their favorite porno movie or simply the allure of something nearly unachievable, many men seem obsessed with anal sex.  And while you may naturally feel hesitant, there is actually good reason to lay your guard down and give yourself the opportunity to be his own personal sex goddess (take that Jenna Jameson!).  What many women don’t know is that the clitoris has arms that extend downward along the vaginal lips and down to the anus. What does this mean? It means, believe it or not, that you may actually enjoy anal sex and just not know it yet! The fact of the matter is that anal sex can be just as gratifying as vaginal intercourse (in a completely different way) when done correctly.

The downside to this great news is that most anal virgins, men and women alike, don’t have any idea of how to go about it properly. And why should you? If you take a minute to think back to your first experience with vaginal sex, I bet that you’ll probably muster up repressed memories of embarrassing blunders and possibly some pain. This is normal. I’m also willing to bet that it was well after your second or third time that you eventually perfected your stroke. Just like vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse takes some time to make sense of. Luckily, there are some tricks to making your experience easier and a lot more fun.

Foreplay

Think of this as warm-ups. You wouldn’t walk into a gym for the first time, load up three hundred pounds onto a bench press bar and expect to walk away unscathed. Neither should you leap into anal sex unprepared. You can explore your body on your own (the best way to help your man please you is to figure it out yourself first!), or you and your partner can explore your body together (just be sure to be vocal). Many women find it helpful to bring a toy into the picture.  Your local sex shop probably offers an array of various anal toys and, if you’re lucky enough to live close by to a reputable shop, the sales associate may help you to find the perfect toy for your needs. Generally, an anal plug is the simplest way to get used to the feeling of having something in your rear entry. Anal plugs come in all sizes, vibrating and non-vibrating. Some plugs come in sets that gradually move up in size. Personally, I’ve found that, whatever size you choose, the vibrating plugs offer a lot more stimulation and even help to relax your muscles (you definitely don’t want to be tensed!). Using a vibrating plug during vaginal intercourse can create a whole new world of excitement for you and your partner – and imagine his surprise when you whip that out for the first time!. Whatever your method, preparing beforehand is vitally important to a pleasant anal experience.

Lubrication

Lubrication is absolutely one hundred percent necessary for all anal play. And, no, saliva is not lubrication!  The anus does not make its own lubrication and, without proper lubrication, you are leaving yourself vulnerable to pain (at the very least) or serious medical problems (what an embarrassing E.R. trip!). Again, your local reputable adult shop can walk you through all of your options, as there are many. Typically, a lubrication specified for anal is the best way to go because anal lubrications contain an anti-bacterial agent. Some anal lubrications also contain a desensitizing agent (usually benzocaine) to help with the pain. Typically, I won’t recommend these as pain is your body’s way of telling you when something is wrong and, when done slowly and properly, anal play should not hurt. Like regular lubrications, anal lubrications come in water-based and silicone-based forms. Though most people prefer water based lubrications for vaginal intercourse, silicone is usually the better way to go for anal intercourse because silicone lubrications are much smoother than water-based lubrications and will not evaporate or absorb into your skin. My recommendation is System Jo Silicone Anal Lubrication.

Take It Slow

Like the classic children’s tale teaches us: slow and steady wins the race. Pay close attention to what your body is telling you and don’t rush yourself. Exploring anal play should be a pleasant experience for you as much as your partner. You may have to calm him down at some point, as men are easily excited, but if he’s willing to work with you and take it easy he’ll probably find it was worth the wait (heck, he should be overjoyed that you’re even willing to give it a shot!). Just remember that you are in control the whole time. And, if it turns out that you really don’t like anal, thank God you still have a vagina!